WHILST driving along the other day, I thought I saw a giant plate of Salsa ‘N Chips in my rear view mirror. What a fool I felt when I remembered that things appear reversed in mirrors. It was actually a giant plate of Chips ‘N Salsa.

- Mike Patterson
Farsley

I THOROUGHLY enjoyed viewing the Queen of England’s Diamond Jubilee Celebration on one of the many delightfully, large screens at the Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill, (Charlotte) location. However, I was outraged to learn during the broadcast that Her Majesty has 1) never consumed a saucy order of Zucchini Fries, and 2) does not currently own a bikini top that matches her bejeweled crown.

We’re Americans! Can’t something be done to correct this? Where is Congress on this?

-Angus Weaver
Castelford

MY WIFE keeps bees. She told me she would like to name them all after the waitstaff at Bikinis Bar & Grill. Would you please forward all employee names to me; selected photographs; correct mobile phone numbers; and relevant bank account information. (This is purely for authentication and training purposes ONLY, of course.)

-Prince Eric Snarky
Valley Park

PARTON TIP-OF-THE-WEEK: Have you every considered putting Roast Sparrow on the BB&G menu?  It could probably feed an entire family of mouse-like eaters.

- Winston Dewee Confused
Hellboy, NJ