Word came down this week that a small bakery in Ohio has just filed to trademark the word ‘bunnery.’
No that’s not a misprint.
‘Bunnery’ — like Guller’s breastaurant — will soon be a Registered Trademark through the United States Patent and Trademark Office of the Department of Commerce. That means if you describe another competing ‘pantless’ bakery as “the ‘bunnery’ down the street” you will be breaking the law. Pull over. License and registration, please.
“We’re really excited about receiving this federal trademark,” said bakery owner Grant “Goose” LePew in a press release. “Our team has worked hard over the last nine years to offer a unique experience to our customers. We know semi-naked bakers are somewhat unique to the industry. This just further solidifies that LePew Bakers, of Columbus, OH, is America’s ONLY bunnery.”
Of this bold marketing tactic wasn’t without opposition.
“Sure, there were some haters gunning for us,” chimed in Kenny Rockman, co-owner and First Shift Tush-Technician and Support Supervisor. “But dropping your pants while kneading the morning dough seems perfectly natural to me. Did you know that in olden times most bakers walked around el fresco? It’s true! Read your Kitchen Bible.”
Speculation is now surfacing that the term ‘bunnery’ will likely face a strong challenge from New York’s First Gluten and Nut FREE Bakery and Cafe: Bare Naked Bakery.
“Bring it,” scoffed the scarfing co-owner.